PARTIALITY OF LOVE BY PARENTS AND ITS EFFECT ON CHILDREN

Love is a seed that needs attention and care especially at a very tender age. Even God demands we love Him as He himself has shown us what love is like by giving us his only son. The life of every being is a fertile land where love grows once planted but to plant this, is always the problem.

 Every child needs equal love just like any other child without any partiality from anyone be it a stranger or the parents.

Recently I witnessed an incident that occurred in a family between a child and his parents and ever since, I couldn’t just imagine such things happening to my own children and this has left this urge to send an SOS to every parents about the impending danger their actions may bring not just to them but to the entire society at large. No child before birth had a choice about the family he is to be born into but most parents has always apportioned blamed to their children especially those they think brought disdain into their lives.

It was on one fateful afternoon as I was gazing at the brightness of the sun imaging what could have triggered the sun to shine at its peak, like a thunder flash so fast my attention got diverted and I beheld a wonderful family having a nice time in a garden, the mood hovering above them was so romantic that even the breeze seemed to be going in rhyme with their moods and the children at an arm’s length from their parents were playing and teasing one another.

The mood was pleasing until suddenly a man having the look of a father stood from the table fiercely approaching the children released words so powerful that got me wondering and more interested in what’s happening and what was going to happen. Not being sure the kid to whom the words were meant for heard him clearly, he repeated himself but this time around the words came more fiercely and before I could blink an eye, a heavy slap landed on the face of a little child who from every observation is under 10 in age and there followed some collusive abuses and curses that got me pondering on what this little child must have committed that warranted such attitudes towards him at such a tender age.

Like a man possessed by some forces so powerful than him, I approached this strange man with a steamed face demanding to know what made him hit such child in such a manner and some threats which I was ready to implement should he fail to explain himself, I threatened to arrest and charge him for child abuse. From his explanations and stories that included questions which I asked him and the ones not asked, how he had prayed and hoped for a female child but ended up having a male child, how he had been having hard lucks and bad lucks ever since the child was born and some touching stories but which when analyzed cautiously never warranted this child to be abused in such a manner and which made me asked him ‘’Was it the kid’s fault that he was born?’’. This is a man who supposed to be the best friend, encourager and protector of this child but who out of an insatiable hatred boiled from his very own disappointed has turned to be the tormentor and predator to this child. WHY?!!

Parents it’s high time you all got to understand that your actions, words and attitudes towards your children has some physiological effects on these kids either positively or negatively but the negativity has a greater and higher quantum. You’re your child’s first friend, best friend and by nature his best confidant but being these things comes with a price which you must pay if you’re to get the best from your children.

 You must strive to avoid being partial when it comes to the love you apportion to every one of them, it is a natural phenomenon that as a parent you must be attracted to one child when it comes to some certain things in the family but making this obvious to other children is where the problem lies. Jacob in the bible never took notice of this and that triggered hatred in the hearts of his other children that led to them selling Joseph even though it was to fulfill that which God had planned for his life but it brought hatred into their lives which was very bad. Hatred is a poisonous thing that once it found its way into the heart of any child has the potential to destroy anything good in the life of such child especially when it comes from the parents.

I have tried my best to avoid thinking about what this child would turn into should he grow up in such atmosphere with the constant hatred displayed by his own parents but the more I try to resist this urge the more stronger the cry of other  children passing through same pains becomes… So I write to parents.

            CHILDREN

Children by nature are the very best gift God gave to you

Each day we spread our hands wide open towards heaven praying God to bless you

And a wish so strong that our presence makes everything in your life new

we’re a blessing to you and never a curse

Vessels of blessing and never of drought

Look upon us graciously and you shall behold our worth

We are your pride at the city gate

But if you destroy us what shall be your gain?

Nothing but disdain

Love us for who we are

For it was never our fault God made us this way

And never have we planned to let you down at the gate

We hate to be compared for life is not a competition

Each one of us came with a gift specially designed by our creator

And the very best He has ever created

Life was better for you before we came

This is one of the things we hate

And we have no hands in the deals of fate

Hating us will change nothing

Neither will it bring betterment to things

Parents for once try and see our worth.

THE CRY OF A CHILD

From the very moment I opened my eyes to this world as a child, I have not been like others

Your love towards me has been worse than that given to a morbid bastard

Making me to wonder if am truly your son or did mom owe me an explanation of who my real father is.

Every child I have ever grown to know boasts of how loving their fathers has been

Showing proof of such love

But when it comes to mine I bow my head in shame like one that has no father.

Everything I have ever own has been given to me by me

But always you take the glory leaving me behind the scene

All this yet I kept my mouth shut just for peace to reign

Among your other kids am the best but with you am not better than the worst

Decisions of my life you have always made

Making me a tenant in my own life yet I made no complain

The very first word I learned was ‘’dad’’

And that has been my worst mistake

For you never deserve that

My siblings sleep every night with smiles on their faces

But mine gets filled with pains I dare not question

Praying tomorrow never comes for that is the only hope I could get

But I wake up every morning beholding your face and I ask why life has given me such gift.

I live hoping a day will come when I shall know the taste and the efficacy of happiness

A day when I shall be the landlord of my own life

Until this day comes … enjoy the moment which fate has given to you.

These are the pleas and cries of most children out there yawning for nothing other than love from their parents but hardly are they ever noticed. Parents the earlier you all understand that the children given to you all are gifts and not an instrument of grief, the better for you all and the society. So value them and help them discover their potentials now, if you can’t help them then do better not to hurt them with your partiality of love.