A Balm To My Soul

Your friendship is a balm to my broken soul

The meaning to my life

And sweetness to my existence

A moody and obscure poet

Dwelling in the palace of sadness

Yet emotionless

I was living in pains

Each day I embraced sadness

All because I lack sweetness

Your friendship is a light to my darkness

An antidote to my skin venom

Peace to my roaring ocean

You gave me love

You gave me joy

Peace and happiness you brought to my aboard

 

I have made a vow

A solemn seed I have sown

To love and cherish your soul for as long as I breathe

The Echo Of My Pain

The echo of my pain is deeper than the wave of an ocean

The pain of losing something that worth life to you

Life is meaningless without you

Heaven I bet need angels to exist

You thought me what it means to be strong

I thought life is real but I was wrong

For on the day you closed your eyes against life

I realized life is nothing but an ugly fantasy

Now am stuck against tide

My strength has deserted me

My balm has been stolen from me

Leaving me in the pains of a broken life

How do I deal with the wild?

Where do I flee to in times of disaster?

My stronghold has fallen

Oh! How the mighty has fallen

My heart is broken

The blood flows within

Forming an ocean I can’t contain

My life is meaningless with your absence

Did I Really Changed

I made a wish long time ago

Under the blue sky I shed my ego

A pride I guarded for ages

I lover of sadness

Sadness was once the food for my soul

The existence of joy in my heart is sadness

My inspiration

And the fountain of life

I once laid on sadness

An introvert

Obscure

Lover of long lines

And keeper of no friends

Keep no friend and love no stranger

Embrace sadness and cuddle pain

Take delight in agony of men

And show no compassion

Keep no friend and love no stranger

My way of life was the best to me

Or so I thought

Until I met you

Now am living in a world different from what I have known

Seeing things from angles I thought would never unfold

Reasons to love everyday am being shown

And the heart is no more as cold as the snow

The World

The world seems so serene……

But deep inside it’s very ugly…

Like a coffin so beautiful outside

But inside rots and smells so badly

Its beauty is nothing but vanity

Yet for it many has lost their sanity

Taken over by insanity

They lost their quality

I an obscure poet

Lover of long lines

Blower of trumpet

My source never declines

Having gone round the world

Passed through pains untold

Pains better to be untold

I am now bold

Love not the world

Else you perish with it

Forget about how it glitters

They are all foods for the worm

My Diary My Love

Love is not magic. It is not something that suddenly falls from the sky and believe me love is far greater than emotions and sensation. Love is passion for something, you can love anything you choose to, anything that gives and gets your attention without stressing you out.

Many has questioned me, asking "Gings when will you get to love a woman and have passion for one?". This question always get me wondering what kind of love they are talking about cos the love i have for my pen and diary is far greater than any love they could ever profess for a woman. My pen gives me the romance i could ever ask for, every night my diary cuddles me to sleep with lullabies so romantic.

I might be a sad poet who gains inspiration from sadness, one who speaks nothing but sadness and one who writes nothing but sadness. You can even say i smell sadness and i won't be angry cos you are damn right but what you don't know is this "sadness is love", sadness keeps me, my diary and my pen together, sadness is the bond between us. When we kiss and romance, we romance with sadness.

I choose my pen and diary, my every passion i gave them yet you say i have no love?.  Love is Joy and Nothing gives me joy than being with my pen and sharing my soul with my diary, they are both the perfect companion for me. whatever we share remains enclosed from the world, my fear, my nightmare they concealed, my weakness they never remind me. In times of drought, they water my soul with rains of love. what other love could be better than this?

Love is about complementing one another. For over fifteen years my pen and beloved diary has done justice to every alphabet that made up the word "complement", they have remained my voice, a light to my darkness and an angel battling my demons every second of my life. I no longer doubt that God created me to love nothing but these fellas and am damn doing justice to that purpose.

My Love For Poetry

Someone asked me if I am going to put out a poem today?
I was surprised and had no words to say.
I love poetry it helps me vent and stay content
But, my mind had been preoccupied by stressors of the world that puts me in bed ball-up into a curl.
Time seems to fly away during the day
which leaves me with little words to say.

Motherhood, wife, and everything else in life makes things complicated especially when they are not anticipated.
If words of expression is not written on my paper,
I am actually doing you all a huge favor.
I can think too much,
And have words flow out of my brain like a water spout all uncensored.
Baffling the good children that I mentor, and my career because I didn’t use a filter.

Poetry is my art wrapped around me to be a better me.
My creativity
And my expression is a passion that is not rush but formulated with time
To give you something to rewind in your mind to be a good read as one of kind.

When You Lose A Your Best Friend

When you lose your best friend…

Let me start off my clarifying- this is not a letter to my “ex best friend.” This isn’t some angry letter because of a fight or growing apart. Nothing like that, at least not in this case. This is the heart wrenching, can’t breathe, worst feeling in the world lose your best friend thing.

“Losing a best friend is like losing air. It’s painful and slow and there’s nothing you can do about it. You just watch the world disappear.”

Sometimes life just really sucks. One bad decision can ruin everything. One mistake in a moment of weakness can change everything. And that is what happened. My best friend did something stupid, and she is paying greatly for it. But that one moment caused a ripple that soon became a tidal wave trying to destroy everything in its path. One mistake shouldn’t define a person. One mistake doesn’t define a person. To know what a person has done, and to know who a person is, are very different things.

But sometimes, some people can’t see past that mistake. And you are forced to make hard decisions. You choose the option that you can’t live without. That option being losing you as my best friend. I wish we had a big falling out, or we simply grew apart. I wish we had an irreconcilable difference. I wish we had anger, because I can handle anger. But we don’t, that’s not the case. We both just have broken hearts.

“Promise me. That’s all I want. Just a promise that you will never forget me. Tell me I changed you somehow. Let me know that I had an impact on your life. Promise me that you will always remember me. You won’t forget our laughs, our jokes, our smiles, our conversations, our plans, our tears, our memories, our experiences. Our friendship.”

The best kind of people are the ones that come into your life, and make you see the sun where you once saw clouds. The people that believe in you so much, you start to believe in you too. The people that love you for simply being you. The once in a lifetime type of people. I’ve never had a friend that just clicked instantly- especially since it made no sense. For once in my life I had a friend that understood my anxiety and depression without having to explain. (and tummy issues). I’ve never had someone that just got it, because they struggled with it too. Every single thing about me.

I feel like I’m dying. I can’t sleep again. My anxiety is trying to consume me. I cry all the time. The only person I’ve ever met that just gets it from a single glance, I can’t talk to anymore. I feel so isolated and alone. I lost my person and I can’t even grieve the loss of that friendship without if affecting my life. It’s not that I don’t miss hanging out or all the stupid things we planned for the future, because I do. But I miss most having one person that understood and was there for the bad. My person that stood with me in my darkness.

“I know you’ve lost someone and it hurts. You may have lost them suddenly, unexpectedly. Or perhaps you began losing pieces of them until one day, there was nothing left. You may have known them all your life or you may have barely known them at all. Either way, it is irrelevant- you cannot control the depth of a wound another soul inflicts upon you.

Which is why I am not here to tell you tomorrow is another day. That the sun will go on shining. What I will tell you is this; it’s okay to be hurting as much as you are. What you are feeling is not only completely valid but necessary- because it makes you so much more human. And though I can’t promise it will get better any time soon, I can tell you that it will- eventually. For now, all you can do is take your time. Take all the time you need.

So I’m praying time will heal all the hearts involved and allow a third option to magically appear. I’m trusting in God’s timing and His plan. I’ll (try) to be patient in my waiting.

Love And Fate: Chapter Three

CHAPTER THREE

Finally I have launched my blog, a site I have managed alongside Mona for four years since she came back from the city of Atlanta where she went to study International studies and Diplomacy. The site has gone viral with every post trending to millions, the number of followers and views from all over the world increases every second and yet I haven’t registered the site until last month.

         Loveworld was the name Mona suggested ab initio but I felt the name to be too local so I brought up the name Gingsart Blog and she was enchanted by it leading to its adoption.

         One fateful day I got a mail from one of the followers of  Gingsart about how a post in the site came about, she requested to know the inspiration behind the post but I couldn’t answer immediately as I was not aware of any post until Mona showed me a post that is trending even on other sites, a short article she wrote “The inhumanity of humanity”. It was about her but in disguise and after interrogations on her to know what really happened I found out she has broken up with her boyfriend on finding out that the guy has been cheating on her. She tried to tell me this some days ago but I couldn’t read the message her countenance was passing as I was working on the speech I was going to deliver at a conference in a week time but I should have given her the time. , now am left with nothing than to pray she understands at least she’s no more a little kid but she’s still my beloved baby and as loving as she is, she understood how burdened I was at that time but trust Mona I surely paid for not being there when she needed me.

     

        “Let’s link the website to our PayPal” she suggested. That sounded nice as it would generate income for us, so we linked it and within a month we started counting thousands of dollars, offers from different companies willing to pay huge amount of money to get their products advertised on the site increased by the day and so the responsibilities also.

       

         One early morning I woke up after receiving several mails from my readers and the ones I could answer immediately I did before proceeding to my fridge to get a coffee but along the way I paused and thought ….. Could Bella be following the blog?  Could she be reading my posts? If yes then it’s high time I wrote her something personal at least but what to write becomes another issue. After much deliberation, I arrived at something……A poem “My first love”

 You were the first promise I was willing to keep,

My first hope that something could last forever

You were the first time I opened up like a blooming flower

And gave you every piece of me,

Every lie I’ve told,

Every nightmare that kept me wide awake,

All of my hopes and dreams stored somewhere safe inside of you.

You taught me that there is no shame in unwinding myself

Into someone else’s arms,

That it’s time I exposed my gentleness that I’ve hidden beneath my thick skin,

For it hasn’t seen the sun in years

You were the first person I failed to find a poem to compare to

Because I loved you down to your bare bones and raw heart

And no metaphor could ever satisfy my admiration for every part of you.

You were the first time I wanted to belong to someone,

The first time I could read a thread of text messages like reading my favorite book,

My first kiss,

My first time getting butterflies after just hearing your name….

You were my favorite song,

My 24 hours wish;

A silly boy staring at a clock, waiting for the numbers to be perfectly inline

So that he could wish to forever keep a love that already belonged to him.

You were my super love,

My second eyes when I seemed to see no more

The breeze that blows gently upon my bone

Bella you are my all.

   

         You nailed it, you just said what has been on my mind for 10 years now, how could you write such a thing?......, you must be a mind reader, you must be insane for writing such a thing, oh you must be a darling for saying this, I must send this to my baby maybe she will give our love a second chance….. So many mails came in within few minutes of posting my poem but I haven’t gotten the message I was looking for, I was waiting for Bella’s message as I was certain she must be following my blog considering how famous it is now but I waited all day until every hope was dashed on the rock.

       It was time for dinner; the table has been neatly arranged by Mona with the foods set, ready to be savored by whoever cares. “Am jealous of your future husband Mona” I teased her before taking my seat and she gave a heart melting smile in appreciation of what I just said.

      Uncle what is the problem with you again? What’s running through your mind…….am sure it’s definitely not this food, you mind sharing it here and right now... She dropped her fork on the plate and “am all ears” was what came out next. How she always get to know am burdened is something am yet to know but one thing I have always known is that we both share something in common and that must be the reason why I took her to stay with me from her tender age, her wisdom and high sense of humor is something that goes beyond ordinary. You could have studied Psychology in the University my dear, I said before dropping my fork to tell her the story of how I have waited all day hoping to get a mail from Bella after writing a poem for her but got disappointed as she sent none. Does it mean she has forgotten everything about me? That I even exist? No no no she can’t do such a thing, not the Bella I know. Big brother if she could stay many years without contacting you, if she could leave at a time when you needed her most then it’s possible she has forgotten everything about you, by the way, why do you always disturb your emotions with this Bella issue, if you have nothing else to think of, it’s better you think about me now before I get married someday, Mona said smiling…….. Indeed she’s worth thinking of every second; I thought and joined her smiling.

My Everyday Wish

You were the first promise I was willing to keep,

My first hope that something could last forever.

You were the first time I opened up like a blooming flower

And gave you every piece of me,

Every lie I’ve told,

Every nightmare that kept me wide awake,

All of my hopes and dreams stored somewhere safe inside of you.

You taught me that there is no shame in unwinding myself

Into someone else’s arms,

That it’s time I exposed my gentleness that I’ve hidden beneath my thick skin,

for it hasn’t seen the sun in years

You were the first person I failed to find a poem in

Because I loved you down to your bare bones and raw heart

And no metaphor could ever satisfy my admiration for every part of you.

You were the first time I wanted to belong to someone,

The first time I could read a thread of text messages like reading my favorite book,

My first kiss,

My first time getting butterflies after just hearing your name.

You were my favorite song,

My everyday wish;

A silly girl staring at a clock, waiting for the numbers to be perfectly inline

So that she could wish to forever keep a love that already belonged to her.

You were my super love

But at last you left during supper

And yet to return

But i await your return

HOLINESS

Holiness
The fight to be holy I have always fought
Striving daily to remain firm to the course of which I was bought
The ultimate prize paid with the highest price

My creator demands I be holy
For He is holy
But sometimes my weakness seems to get the best of me
Leaving me broken at the end of  it all

Sometimes it seems am so close to being holy
But flesh never lets me be
Nothing is wrong with me
All I need is a heart like my savior

A heart so strong like the wind
Filled with love
So pure
A heart like yours is what am searching for

Lord you know my heart
And you know how i desire for you every second
I know am not all i can be
But I know i will make it

For as long as you stay by me all day
I will remain strong
And fight till my last
But I need a heart like yours Lord

The Feud

Shiya looked around the plain field and hissed. Too many lives have been lost because of a
land, this land where she stood had drunk too much blood. Blood of their ancestors and still the
blood of her soldiers. Many of them are lying dead on the field in their own pool of blood.
"How did we get to this point?"
She hated this land that has caused pain, grief and hatred for two kingdoms for many generations.
The same land that has separated she and her lover.
She was brought out of her reverie as an enemy soldier advanced towards her. She
dodged his sword blows and slashed his neck. Then she advanced towards him, her lover and king
of the enemy kingdom. She focused on him only and cut down any soldier daring to be an obstacle
in her path.
Even with blood smeared all over his face he still looked as handsome and still with fought with
fluid grace as she remembered. His soft caress and gentle touch too.
"No"
She dragged the distracting thoughts from her mind and continued advancing.
Anez saw her and frowned, he was burning with rage. The slut! He saw her still
advancing towards him and cursed. He must have her head for betraying him, he had loved her
and she had gone ahead and use him and got control of the land only to sell it to a total stranger.
He stabbed the soldier he was battling with and pushed him away with ease.
"Shiya"
His voice sent shivers down her spine. She readied her sword for a fight with him.
"It's been a while Anez. I missed you."
He somersaulted and punched her.
"Don't tell me that. You betrayed me why?"
She fiercely wiped away her tears.
"I did not want to but this cursed land is keeping our people apart, it is keeping us apart.
Every generation have to fight for this land. Someone has to stop that. This land has taken enough
of our people's blood."
He cut her arm and pushed her away.
"So you have come to reason with me, to stop me? Never."
She circled him and made her move.
"Please Anez I don't want this, I love you but we have to make sacrifices in order to live,
please call off this battle."
She managed to stab him and cried.
"Please don't make me kill you."
He laughed painfully and fell on his knees.
"You did Shiya,when you left."
She ran over to him and held him.
"Anez, Anez please don't leave me."
He chuckled.

"Then let's go together."
He stabbed her with his sword and didn't stop until it came out from her chest. She gasped in pain
and looked at him, longing to touch him one last time, she caressed his face and mumbled.
"I love you."
The battle stood still as soldiers dropped their sword and paid lasting respects to their
leaders. Finally there can be peace, the land has gotten two sacrifices, sacrifice of love and pain.
The soldiers mourn silently as they carried their leaders back home.

THE ALIEN

Loi looked around his surroundings and took in a deep breath, he did not see any traces of their
alien craft where it has been kept. He knew then that his people had left him behind. The earth was
nothing at all like he imagined intact they were more populated and less sophisticated unlike his
home Hozinoh.
Over the years few humans that have found it had come to like the space especially his home. It
was a far more sophisticated place and it was centuries older than earth.It seemed he would be
staying on earth for a while before they come back for him. He had to find a way to survive.
As he stepped out of the woods he encountered another life entirely. People were moving around
in a haste, nobody was waiting for a greeting or pleasantries, everyone went about their business.
He saw varieties of cars running around on land and looked on in confusion as many of them lined
the streets. He didn't know what to do and how to use them unlike his planet where the cars were
up high where they could not hurt anybody. A guy walked up to him and smiled.
"Nice costume dude."
Luckily back in his planet they had been taught English Language, the most popular language on
earth so he understood what had been said to him. He looked at his clothes and realized that he
would need to blend in so that he would not be noticed because he was sticking out like a sore
thumb and every had started sizing him up.
He finally saw a clothing store where he ducked in and silently took clothes without being seen.
He hated stealing but then he had no choice and no means of payment used on earth. After he left
the store he didn't know what to do and he had no idea on how to survive. After what seemed like
hours of aimless walking, he saw an advertisement board that stated a vacancy for construction
workers. He was directed to a small office which held many people like him in search of a job.
Everyone turned to look at him as he entered, they all had their eyes on his still braided hair, he
scowled at some of them and decided to ignore them.
After several hours of waiting, he got the job. Him and the others that applied for the job were
shown to their work post. Loi used this opportunity to survey his surroundings. The construction
site was quite big and it was bustling with people. Back at his planet he was known as a shy
person and it only worsened since he was not with his people. He got to work and refused to
confront the states of people aimed at his back.
Even after several weeks, he could not blend in with the other workers, he tried for a week and
when his kind gestures proved abortive he withdrew himself and preferred to stay alone. It seemed
even earth was in on the cruel joke that he was an outsider and decided to be more harsh on him.
He sighed and pushed away his food, he had lost his appetite and the food tasted like paper in his
mouth. He looked up and fervently hoped that his people would soon send the rescue ship to him.
"Hi there."
He jumped from the voice.
"Who are you?"
Loi looked at the lady in front of him and shrunk back, he had not expected anyone to talk to him.
She smiled and offered him a handshake.
"My name is Kaida and I work here too though not a laborious work like yours. And I am also an
outsider like you."
His heart thumped very loud in his chest, he could not explain how she knew he was not from
Earth.
"How do you know that?"
She threw back her head and laughed.
"It's so obvious. You have been sitting alone for the past two weeks and you even look misplaced
among us. I understand that, I am also like you, I have been mocked and teased my whole life, I
have never really felt at home here. So, where do you come from?"
He breathed in relief. She didn't know, she probably thought he was from another place on
earth.
"Where I come from is very far from here."
He gazed at the sky and smiled.
"But it is very beautiful."
She nodded.
"So can we be friends? Outsiders together."
He was thrilled at the idea of having a friend. It would be the first time for him that someone was

offering him friendship. Maybe he won't be alone again as he had always been. He nodded.
"Yes, I will."
She offered him her best smile.
"I would like to visit your place too, if you like it so much maybe I can fit there too."
He swallowed and fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. He didn't want her to know yet but with time
he could tell her, she probably will be thrilled.
"Okay but you must know it is nothing like you know, it is a totally different place."
She smiled.
"I'm game. Nothing scares me nor surprises me anymore."
He nodded.
"Alright prepare to be dumbfounded. Don't say I didn't tell you."
She grinned.
"Outsiders together.
He smiled.
" Outsiders together. "
THE END
**************************************************

By: Empress Jin (Co- author of Gingsart blog)

Who's It Gonna Be?

Him or me? Sweetie who's it gonna be? You have me waiting, anticipating. This
Question should not have you hesitating. I've sat back and listened to you explain.
Your need for me but love for "what-his-name?" It should not be so hard for you to decide. For
He keeps you on an emotional roller coaster ride. Take a look back when I was before him.
It's not difficult to comprehend. I was your honey. Lover, friend. Just follow your heart and
Follow what your body tells you. It's a start when you acknowledge I've never failed you.
Damn-it woman you hold the power. Who do you think about in lonely hours? Who do you?
Imagine touching you in the shower? You know I'm the one who goes deep. Sweetie you
Know my love is unique. You know I'll do what he won't in the bedroom. You know when it
Comes to you nothing is sexually taboo.
I'm the one who takes you out on the town. You know I like to go down. You know I'm
Far from selfish in bed. Does he wake you up to morning head? Come on don't lie. Does he
Gobble; make you hobble after eating your apple pie? Does he keep your kitty on a sexual?
High? Does he flip; dip bite into your battleship? He probably sees it as invalid.
So I know
He doesn’t toss your salad. Baby you know what I'm about. Does he make you cry out in?
Ecstasy? When you're with him do you think of me?
Tell me, does he show you public affection? Was he there with you watching "Obama"
Win the election? Was he there for you, share with you special moments in life? Will him
Sacrifice his career? Does he whisper sweet words in your ear? Does he kiss the tip of your
nose? Surprise you with a rose? Does he massage your feet? Take you out to eat?
Does
he makes your heart smile? And to comfort you, would he walk a thousand miles? Does he
do these things and then some? No! He's silly and dumb! Always on the run, always on the
go and no! "Attention" he doesn't show! He doesn’t? know that I'm the one who understands. I
Support your goals and plans. I know you like no other. You don't need advice from your
Mother. She even knows I'll catch you if you fall. You know she sees me as her son-n-law.

TEARS UPON THE ALCOVE

Wreath upon bleeding wreath

Her anguish was spread abroad these stones 

With tears she watered their dying petals

The mortar of the mausoleum 

Interwoven and bound with her sorrows 

Sealed shut and eternally hidden 

 Lies the love of her life. 

Tears upon this alcove 

Was more than she gave 

She takes on the funereal apparel of the abandoned 

With time as hoist she’d draw strength

  from the wells of this bond 

Beyond the times when memories are inexorable

Though they be fond 

And  sanguineness rears its face in the far beyond. 

Each flower spread on the sunbathed lithic base 

Throws ajar the doors to a new phase 

That triumphantly she might waltz in.

Each loss and it’s ensuing mnemonics  

An extra coat of clay upon the perfect mould 

The insculpt that is her life 

Life so easily caressed by death

A rock waved and slapped and wet by the waters of the firth 

Unflinching and sublime 

Battle-bruised and beaten 

Till wounds are bound and healed by time.

She ululates in black by the resting place 

Not that the sun might depone

And upon her back abate his  baneful glow 

Or the wind might stop to blow 

At the dark sigil of which she was clad 

But that the weight she had 

borne; and did bear

Shall flow onto the concrete of these stones 

In the floods of her sorrow tear. 

Behind every successful man is a devoted woman

How To Love Me

Don’t try to look up the manual.
I can tell you there is no step-by-step procedure.
No magic formula to bring me to my knees.
No concoction of words that can render this poet speechless.
Trust me,
I have heard it all.

I have seen enough to know the difference between love and lust.
I have learned what happens when I choose to ignore my gut,
so do not convince me I am broken just so you can pick up the pieces.
I picked them up a long time ago,
and yes……
I’m still gluing myself along the way.

But this mosaic I’ve become is so much more beautiful than anything I ever was before,
Before the shattering,
before the cracked glass,
before this newfound vitality.

I will never expect flowers.
Instead,
give me something that will not die.
Give me something that will only continue to grow,
to change,
to wilt at times,
but rebirth in spring.

Love me the way I love my words.
Like the way little kids run,
so free,
and so unafraid of looking foolish……

Love me with your ears and realize I’m going to talk far too much.
No seriously…….
I’m going to talk a lot.
Drown me out when it gets to be too much hot,
but never let the water get too cold.

Love me like the ocean,
not deeply or endless or something else vaguely romantic and far too cliché,
Love me like those weird creatures in the dark parts of the water,
the ones that are a little fucked up with crooked teeth,
the loners.

Love me like the spaces in between words that were never said.
Love me in a way you never have to explain.
Like no one has ever caused you to spit out your own name in disgust,
Like you were never worthy,
Like you were the one with a problem.
Love me like you know we are both problems.

Love me like who the fuck gets to decide what a problem is and what’s a solution anyway.
Love me like you told your kinder garden crush you were going to love them.
Love me like it’s really not that complicated in the end.

The way to love a creaturelike me, quite frankly, does not even need to be written down Love me like youhave always known how.

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I Live To Worship My Lord

I live to worship your name……….

From the mountains down to the valley,

None has done what only you can do…

You’re making all things new…

Creatures of the earth owe thee their worship…..

Our High Priest and captain of our ship…

Your name alone calms the storms,

Your blood breaks all bounds…..

Generations unborn shall speak of you glory,

For your goodness adds no sorrow……

But transforms our ugly story…….

And makes the worst of all sinner holy……………..

Jesus……..

You came to my rescue when all forsook me,

When all my hopes seemed to be going down the drain…

You gave me abundance of rain.

Holy Jesus……. Holy Jesus….

Yokes are broken at the mention of your name…

Every knee bows at the mention of your name…

Your name is above all fame…………

Your righteous hands has done me nothing than the best,

Placing me at the place of abundance rest…

Under your wings you hid me,

In your dwelling place you make me to be….

I worship you sweet Jesus…..

All days i lift my hands towards heaven……

My soul sings aloud to you

Songs of praise and melodies……

My Cry For Your Love

You said to me that you will be there on that day

But when that day came then you were not there for me

So much love showered and so many promises were made

But nothing worked on my way because you had gone

My love, I am crying for you because my love turned blue

The heaven stolen you from me and left the memories only

Though your soul vanished in the sky but my love never dies for you

 I tell those angels how much I love you and care for you

And ask them to make your soul always happy till I come to you

My love, I am crying for you because my love turned blue

Looking at your photos and wish you were here with me

Crying for your endless love which become the end of story

I will not see you again but your memories will stay forever

Now my heart is fighting against a raw pain for the loss of my love

My love, I am crying for you because my love turned blue   

LOVE and FATE

If two hearts are meant to be to be together, no matter how long it takes, no matter how tough it seems, how far it takes them both to meet. As long as they are destined to be, fate must bring them together to share their love forever. This is the story of young man who had a taste of love and fate. Welcome to his world..

CHAPTER ONE

        Like a wind I rushed into my room, so eager to pick up my diary and have a nice time with it. So much on my mind that I wanted to share, so many things I encountered during the day, some happy some sad but the most of them being my encounter with someone , my first love, the one that open the gate of my heart…Bella.

         Bella, a lady I met during my early days at Washington Street, USA. I was taking my morning workout at the gym with my hand towel hanging on my neck or so I thought until a lady looking like a missing angel from heaven walked towards me. Mind if I flow with you? She asked and without any extra workout thought I obliged and we had a nice workout together. Before we left we both exchanged contacts and agreed on another day to meet, this time around not to gym but to have a lunch. That exchange of contacts marked the beginning of our love and my journey into the world called love but this ecstasy did not last as we both expected for Bella travelled out of the state and never returned, leaving no trace of her whereabouts, no mail left behind, no means of ever contacting her, like the Malaysian plane she disappeared leaving my heart stuck in brokenness same way titanic remained at the bottom of the great sea for ages.

      

        I couldn’t believe my eyes, am I dreaming or did some object enter my eyes?, At first I thought it was someone that looked like her but on a second thought, I thought it wise to extend my instinct and clear my mind off this sudden drama that just begat it. Like the joy an eagle who just renewed her wings feels when lifting itself from the peak of the mountain, so was my heart when I beheld a face, a soul I have searched for ages but availed not. Diary how I wish you were there to see how joyful I was despite all the numerous vows I have vowed, of how I would never look upon her again should anything bring us together, despite cursing the very day fate brought us together, the scar bearing me witness, justifying every claim I made, but all these became obsolete the moment I saw her, the moment my first love appeared like a star that has fallen from the sky.…...How the mighty has fallen? Bella my first love has turned to be a joy and a pain, the key that opened the gates to my world and same key that locked not just the gates but every door leading to this great world called love until you came to my rescue diary.

      Her charm (beauty) still blazing, fresh like the first day we met despite having two kids already, despite being wacked everyday by a man I would rather call a monster who couldn’t control his amigo and urge for sex. By looking at Bella one could tell by her looks that she is passing through some hidden trauma despite her charming beauty which seemed to cover those pains from physical eyes. Seeing Bella in such a condition, an urge came over me and I felt it so strong, so strong that I wanted to take her by hands and fly away to an unknown destination where she will be free of those pains and dreadful trauma that seemed to be contending with her beauty and for sure she felt same thing within her…………….. Don’t be jealous diary I thought about you in those moments but you have to understand that Bella mattered to me just like you do. I told her about you and for sure she is grateful to you for taking good care of me in her absence with hope that one day she will get to meet you. Seeing her, I couldn’t do anything, my hands and joints got frozen the very moment I thought about hugging her and I couldn’t explain why, couldn’t explain the force that seemed to withheld me. She felt sorry seeing me in that condition but couldn’t do anything before her gruesome husband came out from the bank and she bid me bye and drove away with him forgetting to give me her new contact and address.

       

        Must first love always be the scariest of them all? Why must fate bring us together at this time when I had chosen to move on with life and even if we are to meet, must she be married with two kids? Why must the scars bleed now after so many years? These questions I asked but never got any answer instead I was forced to sleep with these thoughts.

                        

AM FED UP BEING THE PREY

Am fed up with you

Seeing you but not being seen

Touching you but not being touched

Speaking to you but not being heard

 Am fed up dreaming dreams where you have your way

You have the last say

Willing to be the backbone that assists

For you

I will take any risk

Behind closed doors I allow you to twist

Primitive words

Yes I know

But it’s your voice at this moment I miss

I run my fingers through my hair

And I pull

Wondering if you could be this gentle

Or should be more concerned with the lips that danced

Deductively down my spine

Why am thinking of ways to make them mine

I’m so damn frustrated

I’m not supposed to be here with you

No…No…I promised myself

This I wouldn’t do

And you…you’re so lost you don’t even have a clue

So I must continue putting on the ruse

My lips never saying yes

Always saying no…o…o…o

With perfect little ooos

I’m so fed up with the monthly drama

In and out of 2 to 3 weeks communication lapse

Emotions swimming in the sea of sad…ness

Some days I say fuck it

And fuck you

Then some days I’m in a mess

Can’t you see...?

I can be your greatest asset

Or are you so blind by today’s misery

That you so tend to each day repeat

Allowing this to become a part of your history

Causing your destructive patterns to cheat you from me

And me from you

Is this all you plan to do?

I just wanted a small piece of you

But I feel like a child at the door

Begging to get it

Trying to just be your friend

But somewhere along the line

Thoughts and smiles intertwined

Gotta shake you now

Because am damn fed up with me

I’ve messed up again

Allowing myself to fall prey

To my dreams about we being together forever

OGA'S DAUGHTER

Don't really know if the title of this mini memoir goes along with what I'll be revealing but all the same let's just play along
    I'm Frank, a 27-year old graduate who's fortunate to be working with a leading architectural firm in the busy city of Lagos.
   Got specially recommended to my Boss or Oga like we call him by a family friend.  And due to hard work and luck,  I had risen to a respectable position with good pay and all.
   Oga was an easy going fellow who got along with even mentally deranged persons.  He was known for his philanthropic nature and how he treated everyone as equals so it was surprising to know that he fathered a lady as bossy as Laide - well she hadn't been bossy to me but she had been to a few co-workers... this wasn't actually bad but considering how accustomed we had been to her father's leadership...
    The end of the year party was soon upon us though and it was celebrated in a grand style by Oga Boss and his only daughter who had soon grown into the position  of second-in-command
       Must confess to the Iron Lady looking elegant in a silver lined D&G dinner dress with matching shoes and bag-  she just go well Sha... Shame she's unapproachable I thought
   We all got into a conversation in the gathering and soon everyone were on the dance floor while Oga, his daughter and I went outside for a brief chat.  I accompanied the lady back into the hall while her old man headed to some of his 'super-guests'
   Laide and I chatted and dined for long and soon she seemed drunk!  Cr*p this couldn't be happening... With the party over,   her dad home and dry, everyone else same,  I decided to take her to my car (oh yes!  I own a Toyota Camry 2007 model)  . I laid her at the back seat but I noticed her hands were holding on to... My headquarters.  Tried pulling it away but I noticed I was beginning to be undressed.  This wasn't bad at all but she played drunk to have her way?  Who does that?
  I'm in as she was!!  She whispered a thing or two into my ear and without giving it much thought,  I was in full action as I located her already wet cro*ch ... Awnnn she wasn't to be bossed even during s*x as she motioned my head downwards to her aforementioned cro*ch to perform oral... while I wanted to thrust in... Did a quick thingy and when we were done,  I noticed we were both drenched in sweat... Sweat and pleasure sometimes go hand in hand I'll say
Took off my shirts for her to wipe her body as she prepared to rejoin her dad while I soon left the scene for home driving like I was being chased...
   Arrived work early on Monday morning - on the last day of work for the year looking quite guilty like I was prolly  caught or something
  Well all my fears were put to bed when oga teased me on running home when I was too shy to have a dance with his daughter!  ... Relieved,  I smiled cos it seems like the beginning of something to do with the Boss' daughter...

By Aipoh David

TIME WILL TELL

I cannot walk in her footsteps
I know she was your first love
But I do not harbor any regrets
I'll be true as the stars above

The way you sometimes look at me
Betrays your state of mind
Don't compare me to her memories
Just forget her and be mine

I know I cannot take her place
I cannot compete with a myth
But I'll be patient for your sake
And in time maybe you'll forget

And run to my embrace

THE CRY

From the very moment I opened my eyes to this world as a child, I have not been like others

Your love towards me has been worse than that given to a morbid bastard

Making me to wonder if am truly your son or did mom owe me an explanation of who my real father is.

                            

Every child I have ever grown to know boasts of how loving their fathers has been

Showing proof of such love

But when it comes to mine I bow my head in shame like one that has no father.

Everything I have ever own has been given to me by me

But always you take the glory leaving me behind the scene

All this yet I kept my mouth shut just for peace to reign

Among your other kids am the best but with you am not better than the worst

Decisions of my life you have always made

Making me a tenant in my own life yet I made no complain

The very first word I learned was ‘’dad’’

And that has been my worst mistake

For you never deserve that

My siblings sleep every night with smiles on their faces

But mine gets filled with pains I dare not question

Praying tomorrow never comes for that is the only hope I could get

But I wake up every morning beholding your face and I ask why life has given me such gift.

I live hoping a day will come when I shall know the taste and the efficacy of happiness

A day when I shall be the landlord of my own life

Until this day comes … enjoy the moment which fate has given to you.

WE ARE GOD'S BEST GIFT

Children by nature are the very best gift God gave to you
Each day we spread our hands wide open towards heaven praying God to bless you
And a wish so strong that our presence makes everything in your life new

Parents we’re a blessing to you and never a curse
Vessels of blessing and never of drought
Look upon us graciously and you shall behold our worth

We are your pride at the city gate
But if you destroy us what shall be your gain?
Nothing but disdain

Love us for who we are
For it was never our fault God made us this way
And never have we planned to let you down at the gate



We hate to be compared for life is not a competition
Each one of us came with a gift specially designed by our creator
And the very best He has ever created

Life was better for you before we came
This is one of the things we hate
And we have no hands in the deals of fate

Hating us will change nothing
Neither will it bring betterment to things
Parents for once try and see our worth.

I DON'T LIKE YOU

My lips has not told you a lie before

Woe betide me if I have a lying spur

So believe the words I speak

Do I like you?

Woe betide me that I should

For I don’t

I have no likeness for you

For every time I think of you

My heart melts

And a smile breezes my lips.

I have no likeness for you

For anytime I see your call

I smile like one who has been doused

I have no likeness for you

Because every time you talk to me

I see the future with me carrying a baby that has your face

And staring at a certificate scribbled with your name and mine

I’m sure I have lost the little sanity I have

I have no likeness for you

The sound of your voice is a soothing balm to my aching heart

Your body is God’s precious art

And the sight of you takes all thoughts from me

I have no likeness for you

For like is too feeble

Weak for the feelings I have for you

The feelings that tingles my toes

And blesses my heart

Whenever we are together.

MY LOVE ETERNAL

Death is not the end,
For our love goes on
And you will find the evidence
Long after I have gone.

The flowers that we planted
Will blossom without end
You’ll find me in their beauty
As to their needs you tend.

The books we read together,
The laughter in the pages,
Will continue to give pleasure
Hope to you throughout the ages.

So do not mourn my passing
You are not left alone,
You’ll always find me waiting
In the places we have known.

The bond that grew between us
Will not abate with time,
It will go on for always,
I’m yours and you are mine.

DEDICATED TO MY DEAREST "LOVE IWA MIRACLE ELIM"