FAREWELL MY OLD FRIEND

I am nowhere near who you want me to be. I scream so loud for you to come save me. but when I don’t hear you, I swallow my sadness and throw my rage into these walls in attempt to destroy all the pain in my heart.

 All that’s left is the overwhelming silence. once again I search for you to comfort me and soon I begin to realize that not even I am my own friend. if I am not who you want me to be, then what am I? The day you left me still replays in my head. it throws me down, forcing me to my knees.

 I feel this pain shooting through my veins. I cry myself to sleep, burying these secrets into my the tears streaming down my face. And you? You sleep so peacefully at night, not a worry to keep you up.

 I am not who I was when we met for the first time. You fell in love with the girl with a fake smile. My sadness was hidden behind a mask. I wish we never met, you brought me so much pain and sorrow. But at the same time I am thankful for you.

 If it wasn’t for you being a coward and leaving me abused and abandoned, I would have never gotten the strength to fend for myself and to be able to pick myself up and start again.

 I vow never to follow you down that dark path leading to a world where rage is all that exist. Never again. So you will never hear me apologize for not being who you want me to be.

 I have been thinking too much, I must stop. Record this in your mind, for it will be the last time you flood my thoughts.
 So a farewell to you, my old friend.