MY WORST MISTAKE

“My life has been devastated by abortion. I have had three abortions because I didn’t think I had any other choices.

I was 17 years young and my boyfriend told me if I didn’t have the abortion that he would leave me. I thought I loved him, and I knew I could not have a baby without his help and support. So I did what I was told and went through with the abortion.

“When going in for my abortion I was told by the ‘professionals’ that it was only a blob of tissue, and it would be safer and easier to abort than to carry my baby to term. I would later find out this was a lie.

“I remember laying on the cold table with no anesthetic for the pain, staring at the ceiling, wishing I were someplace else. It seemed to last forever and the pain was unbearable. No amount of anesthetic could dull the pain in my heart and mind. The type of abortion I had was the vacuum aspirator method. I could hear by the increased labor of the suction machine what part or limb of my baby was being extracted. Each time I tried to look at the jar with my baby’s remains they would push me back down. To this day I still hear that haunting suction sound.

“When it was finished I was sent to a waiting room with the other girls. I was given a cup of juice and told I could leave in 20 minutes if I felt alright. I had never felt worse but I told them I felt fine because I just wanted to be out of there.

“A part of me died that day as I realized I would never hold or see that child. I became angry and depressed. I started drinking heavily, doing drugs, and became very promiscuous. I didn’t think anyone would love me unless I gave them sex in return. I got pregnant two more times and chose abortion each time…

“I later met and married a wonderful man. After trying to start a family with no success, we learned I was infertile because of the abortions. The suction from the vacuum aspirator destroyed my tubes and ovaries…

“Everyday I live with the reality that the only children I will ever bear I killed….”