DEAR JOY

Its been a long time since I came to visit you my love. I remember pain and, I don’t want to feel it anymore. I remember tears and, I don’t want to cry anymore. Still I feel that pain and I still cry at the thought of you not being at home. My dear departed love, Gings still has all this love that should have been yours. Your epic to grave story never had a beginning. Only an end that still hurts as hell. Gings cannot function some days, others I am on over drive trying to burn hurting thoughts. Please say you won’t let go, of my hand. That you will hold me forever. That you will still love me, even when I am angry you left me. I wished to grow old with you, see our generation come to life. I cannot see how this pain will subside. Say you won’t let go, of my heart, that needs you so. Keep me in your thoughts, hold me in your innocence.

Dear Joy,Gings remembers every bit of you. No memory of you will ever fade away. I remember never saying goodbye. I still won’t. Give me strength to be better, to sleep better, to survive better. All I long for is the days I had you in my arms. When I felt your warmth. When I rubbed your face and felt your peace. I wish I could turn back time. And feel you again. Know you are deeply rooted inside Gideon's heart. My love, my dear departed love, Gings still loves you, so so much. I had you, then I didn’t. Yet you still are alive in me. I want so much, you being the most of what I want. Say you won’t let go, of Gings’s hand… forever.