My Letter To Depression

Dear Depression,

Why are you here?

Why is it that every time I think I've vanquished you

you crawl back, bloody but resilient?

You keep dragging me down

To trample beneath your feet

And here I am, stuck in the stampede

But I can't leave

Why is it that you love to torture me?

Why do you have to remind me of my faults, my insecurities?

I don't understand how

you've survived this long

fueling my doubt

Why do you make me so irritable?

I just want to be at peace

But you're always here to bully me

With your partner in crime, anxiety

I am stressed, I am fighting

I am angry, I am sad

I am

E M P T Y

What is your purpose?

State your cause.

Make me feel something

Or nothing at all.

Why must you encompass

such ugly emotions?

I ask you to leave

I beg you to go

But here you remain

And I,

I am 

B R O K E N

I am in pieces

What has become of my life?

Why must I be oppressed

by this unbearable sadness?

Why must I have emotion

without purpose?

You beat me, you pull me down again

And here I lay, scrambling for purchase

For purpose. For reason.

But there is no found weapon.

And you kick me again

Why does no one care?

My face is throbbing, my hands are shaking

But your punches keep coming

And my mind is 

S H A T T E R E D

How do I pick up the pieces?

How do I start again?

How do I pick up the glass

without shards cutting my skin?

When did my mind,

once a weapon,

once a treasure,

become the enemy?

I just want to cry.

I just want to be.

But there are no more tears

And I can no longer see.

My goals, once so clear

Become murky

Enveloped in the fog

that swallowed me.

WHY DEPRESSION?!!