DEAR GOD

Dear God

What happened when you created me, 

with my crippling social anxiety?

Did you laugh as I shyed away,

when other kids asked me to play?

Why is it so hard to connect?

Why am I such a reject?

Am I destined to die alone, 

with nobody calling my phone?

Or am I just blind 

to the escape from my bind.

Maybe one day you'll help me see the light,

and my life will seem bright.

But for now, I'll lie here all lame

Singing....I'm your dying flame

LONELY and LOST

Lonely, lost boy.
Everyone long since gone,
reject once again,
He seeks comfort in different men.
He relaxes in the arms of another,
only to wake and find herself alone
in the morning.


So he discovers solace in a high so numbing
He stops racking his brain
for the names of the past ones
Who never bothered to stay,
And waits until it's time for love
to manifest itself in a stranger all over again.

Literally Fiend

I’m like a fiend when it comes to pen and paper
That’s why I write
When something happens
Someone dies, a breakup, a fight
Just like a crack head hits that rock
I hit pen to paper
Or my fingers hit the keys
I’m like an addict when I feed
No, better yet, I’m like a fiend
I go for hours and hours
Never stopping
Until I just physically can’t go
Until my fingers and my mind can’t take no more
That’s why I write
The sudden rush that over takes my body
The feeling of being complete
Putting that last period
Dotting that last I
Finishing that sentence
Making the words come alive
That’s why I write
Call me the literary addict
I need to feed
Better yet, call me a literary fiend
That’s why I write

Can You Love Me Naked?

You may love the way I feel against your hands,
But I am so much more than just a naked body.
I may come across as confident,
But really you have just mispronounced self conscious.
I get jealous and territorial,
But accept me.
I come across as sassy, occasionally mean,
But I have one of the biggest hearts you will ever meet.
And underneath this small frame of mine
is a crazy guy waiting to be unleashed.
You may see bits and pieces of her from time to time,
Accept him too.
Underneath this bright smile
is a lonely boy who longs for affection.
Excuse me if i'm sometimes a little too clingy for your liking.
But I do demand your attention.
Deal with with it.
I might cry over something that doesn't seem so big, or get pissed over things not so significant,
But take these mood swings and learn how to make me feel alright.
If you don't respond or call me back
I'll probably think you're with some other boy,
I have trust issues you wouldn't believe..
Prove me wrong and adore me anyway.
Behind this beauty you see,
Are many things I don't like about myself.
Can you like those parts even more than the parts of me we agree upon?
I have walls
that may take you a long time to break down,
Are you patient enough to wait?
Can I tell you my secrets without feeling embarrassed or judged?
May I show you the deepest parts of me and get the same in return?
You might be able to tell me what I look like with my clothes off,
But can you describe my mind in as great of detail?
My heart?
My hopes and dreams?,
My biggest buddy diary?
Beyond what my body can provide for you,
Can you love me naked?

OMG!!!! FINALLY!!

Our Young Nigerian poet, writer and a blogger Agina Onyebuchi Gideon known by folks as Soul Therapist, owner of Gingsart Blogs has agreed to revealed the special lady in his life after many years of being single.

From our inner source, this sad poet who never believed in love or anything that has the attribute of love has fallen a prey, a victim to his rival "love". Hear him.. " No man can ever fight love and come out a victory, i have finally decided to give up on this war. I have been conquered, love has conquered me". We gathered that this "special lady" as he chooses to refer to her is a model and currently has a crown as a queen.

Soul Therapist will soon reveal the picture of this young queen.

Never underestimate the power of love..
WATCH OUT FOR OUR NEW QUEEN

GOODBYE..How Do You Say It?

How do you say goodbye to someone you've loved
With whom you have shared your life
Is a goodbye enough or "I'll see you around"
After walking together through strife?

How do you say goodbye to a person who held
Such a great big space in your heart
Do you offer a hug, or a goodbye kiss
Or a wave of the arm as you part?

Who knew when you met and proceeded to walk
Down that road filled with places and things
That you'd find such a friend with the same cares as you
A relation unending it seemed

How do you say goodbye to that loved one or friend 
Do you pretend that all is okay
Would you hold back the words and let silence prevail
Even though you have things left to say?

Did you have the chance to say your goodbye 
To someone you thought was so true
Were you sad when you realized that you had to part
Or did it not bother you?

Was the goodbye you had a sudden thing
That came at you out of the blue?
Or was it a slow one - built up over time
Not hurting as much, cause you knew

What is it you do if they're taken from you
You're unable to say your goodbye
You can hope in your heart that they knew how you felt
But now - only tears left to cry

Did you watch as the love started slipping away
Wondering how could this possibly be
After all the good times - all the trials we went through
Was I really unable to see?

One thing is for sure, new days come - old days go
And love will be lost and found
It's important to know that you gave it your best
No matter what life brings around

Now it's time to let go and move on with your life
After all - tomorrows do come
How you face it today is the healing for you
Goodbye is the right thing for some 

Dear Future Me

Dear future me,

Whenever it is that you’re reading this, hope you remember that you found out something about yourself in the December of  2017, during Christmas. I hope you remember that it was a huge turning point in your life and a time you found the love of your life. Hope you still love Taylor Swift. Hope you remember & cherish the memories you made. Hope you’re still Loving YouTube the same if not more. Other than the things I hope you never forget, I want you to love yourself now. This is the moment. “I past and the future are just illusions, the only real time that exists is the present.” This was your favorite quote from a YouTube video called “The Power of Now” by Lavendaire. Incase you don’t remember, it was early in the morning when you were writing this as you couldn’t sleep. If you’re dealing with things or just having a bad day, I hope you believe in yourself that you will succeed. While writing this, you were sitting in the same spot on your small bed where you sleep daily, if you don’t live there anymore, then I hope you feel home in the new house. When things go bad on you, your favorite songs were “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten , “Superheroes” by The Script and “Nightingale” by Demi Lovato. I’m sure you might not like them as much now, but just know that they were the base to make you strong. In 2014-15 you had a fight with your close friends and were given upon. That time, in that moment, “If this was a movie” by Taylor Swift was one of the songs that made you feel better and gave you hope. I hope you love your family the same and even more than that. I hope you have the same friends or at least a few of them. More than anything, I hope you’re learning. It’s fine if you’re not okay, it’s fine if you’re sad. I want you to know that every time you read this letter, the meaning will be different. Read this when you’re happy, you’ll remember the good old days. Read this when you’re sad, it’ll make you miss the past even more. For all the words written in this letter are for you. By you. To you. These are things that made you happy. You’re learning. You’re growing, not only in age but also as a person. You’re doing the best you can. And for that, appreciate yourself. In this world, you always forget to appreciate you. And today, do that. Spoil yourself. Travel. Write.And lastly but definitely not the least, pray to God.     

Midnight Diary

I’m afraid of thinking about the things we still need to suffer. The things that we will find solutions to in the near future. Things that will haunt us sleepless at night. Things that will make us restless until we die. These things horrify me to a point that I feel out of my body. I don’t feel myself and I become unaware about the surroundings. They make me wonder how much time is left before I get my own heart broken into precious pieces because I care too much. They make me stiffen only at the thought of losing someone who once was everything. They make me brood for longer than I intend to. But, before any of these things happen, I want you to live. Live right now, in this moment, for you never know when your life decides to turn upside down. I’m not here to tell you how miserable your life could get or how much pain you still need to experience. Instead, I’m here to connect with you. We together, can live. We can experience things and meet new people. We can go to fairs and get lost in rides. We can go to parties and lose our appetite. It’s only one life that you have, and being bound in the limits was not your life’s purpose. Obeying is made for the one’s scared to discover. But you and I, we were souls made to explore. To go wild. And to dance until our legs go sore. We’re here, together. I want us to be here, together. This might not be forever but I need us to live in this moment. To me, living in the moment is to feel the moment. Feel each sprinkle of excitement, feel each speck of regret, feel each dirt of sadness and every inch of emotions. We’re here to make memories, not to reminisce the previous one’s.

When they say love is the greatest force, I concur because it conquered me

What good are wings without the courage to fly?
What good is life without the sweetness of love?
What good is love without that special person?

Never say no to the force of love
For as long as you live
You will remain a victim

Can a man shut a door he owns not the key?
You own your heart
But you own it not

What is a burning bush without God?
A mere fire
So is a life without love a worthless ash

Seek love diligently
Knock at its door patiently
And let your soul be truthful

No man fights love
Not even i...an ex lover of sadness
It is the greatest force to reckoned with

Why I Can't Let Go

So long ago, or so it now seems,
I lost you and all of our dreams
because you'd changed inside,
a stranger you could no longer hide
In all the years of loving you
somehow I think I always knew
we would never make it to the end
but I stayed, trying hard to pretend
that we could save what we once had
Now it's all gone, the good and bad
I'm suffering through the healing years
filling the oceans with my tears
and still I cry; in bitter sorrow they pour
I wish I didn't love you anymore

Do you know what you should've said
on any night we lay together in bed?

"I'm sorry that I've made you cry
Please don't leave Don't say goodbye
It's not too late I know I'm wrong
My problems have gone on too long
and I'll get help because I'm to blame
I love you and I feel ashamed
I know I hurt you by closing the door
but I promise not to hurt you anymore
I've been a fool for letting you down
Please tell me that you'll stay around
I need you Please stay with me
I'll be a better lover, you'll see
I want to keep you by my side
Please, tell me your love hasn't died."

Those are the words I longed to hear
Saying them would've kept me near
Words only in my head, not in your heart
It was your weakness that tore us apart
I wanted to see your repentant tears fall
I pleaded with you I had to crawl,
but you didn't say any of those things
It was to your bottle you chose to cling
You allowed evil to have its beguiling way
as you became more of a stranger each day
I'll always have regrets For you I still long
I had to sing the last word of our love song
How I trembled when I had to walk away 
My aching heart thinks about you every day

Poem Of Heartbroken

Here I am, laying on my bed
Silently crying while I read
About the things I left unsaid
And all my tears being shed

Did you know, you broke my heart
When you left, when we were apart
But the things that you told me
Right before you said you'd flea

All I have left is the memory
Of your last words, said in glory
"I think we need a break"
And so now I'm left awake

Here I am, laying on my bed
My depression being fed
By my own record player
Only adding sadness, layer after layer

Your last words, are those on repeat
That's what I wish to delete
The image of you running off
Just thinking you were tough

The thought that's destroying my mind
Nor confirmed or denied
"Did I do something wrong"
My friends told me I was strong

I have managed to smile everyday
Even though I see the world in grey
I miss you badly
Pretending to be happy, sadly

I can't see you clearly in photos
My emptiness grows
If you were here,I could've touched you
But then again, was our love ever true

So is it wrong for me to want a kiss
On the lips that I dearly miss
Not just from anyone
Just the one who left and run

The Sad Poet

I am the sad Poet.
The uneasy man.
Who longs to be loved,
or just to have a friend.

My heart whispers a low melody
on a faint, cool evening
thinking of her.
Once in my arms,
laying on my bed of roses.
Now she is gone.
I cannot think anymore!
It is hard, to love again,
When all your love has been taken away.
..I am the sad Poet.

I am the sad Poet,
That walks the bluish, dawn and dew covered streets
in the October evenings and nights.
But I tell you, I wasn't always so sad.
No! I was once alive..happy..romantic,
..till Love went away!

Now I sit in the wayward poetry clubs,
drinking club soda and snapping my fingers
to a finished performance on a poem about love.
Written by a soft, spoken seventeen year old girl.

Soon, it is my turn to give my poem a read.
I stand on a lone stage, with a spotlight drown


ing me in blindness.
I face the faces, who look at me and smile.
A clap, and a cough, bring my head up.
I look out upon the sitting crowd.
To see that one face
that speaks to me,
without the movement of the mouth.
The face never showed though, and my head fell back down.

I start to read.
A vase of emotions kill me and swallow me up.
I try to hold back tears, but no more could I halter.
I finished, with a salty tear, rolling down my rough and oiled cheek.
I leave the crowd at ovation
and leave the women, all with tears in their eyes.

I come down from the stage, leaving the bright spotlight.
I shake hands, give hugs,
and collect my pay, and have another round of club soda.
Then, I go down the midnight alleyways of sprinkled city streets
finding myself a cozy room.

I think of her for a moment,
then off to sleep.
I dream of one time laughs, and hugs and kisses.
I cry in my sleep,
...For I am the sad Poet.