Love and Hope

I once thought you loved me

 Your words I trusted

Your breath I once desired to feel

Aspired to always be your desire

You made believed every word you ever said to me

Filled my memory with thoughts

Your own thoughts

My gaze became filled with your face

You told me not to look at the sky

Made me believe it wasn’t meant for me

You became my sky

The sky that reflects my moon

I never believed in promise

Not until I met you

Never believed in true love

Until my eyes beheld you

I was threw off my balance the moment I approached you

My speech left me

My vocal organs became dormant

Confused state I was thrown

Promises I made to myself became broken

Broken and replaced by your own promises

Reasons to love

The joy to be loved you gave me

Joy I thought no man would ever take from me

My state and fate you changed

And I became empty

Yet filled with your thoughts

All these while I thought they were all true

True like your beauty

Beauty that can never be washed away

Beauty that has come to stay

I never knew it was vanity

Never knew it will one day fade away

Away like ashes before the wind

Away like a melted ice

But how can I know

When I was lost

Lost in my thought of you

Lost in vanity that will fade

I never knew until you left

I never understood until I looked for you

Searching through winter and summer

Searching for a beauty that has long gone

Beauty that has gone beyond my reach

Gone never to return again

Gone as ashes

Washed away by wind

You left not minding all your promises

Promises made out of a solemn heart

Saddled by love

Promise made with love

To the great world beyond you went

World where my word will never reach

Never to penetrate

A world of great hunters

That is where you choose to be

A land where men and women has travelled to

But never returned

That is where you choose to be

You left and so did the joy

Joy that was once my strength

Joy that came out of our love

Joy untold is now being told

Now I weep

Like Moulisa I mourn

Shedding tears that you never wished to see

Tears of pain

Pains of love

Will my tears know an end?

Will I ever see your beautiful face?

Will I be given another chance to behold the source of my joy?

Joy once untold

I live with hope

Hope from an unknown source

Hope stronger than love

Hope that one day we shall meet to part no more

Who am i ?

My sister gets all the love
And support she needs
She has always been first
In your mind and heart

who am i ?

My brother gets anything
He wants even when he
Doesn’t deserve it at all
Because he’s the baby

I’m the one you can
Count on to watch the
Animals or the kid when
You go somewhere

I’m the one that is the
Last person to know
What’s going on and
The last one you consider

What If I want to go
With you when you go
What if I want to do
The same things with you

Why don’t I get the same
Kind of love and support
That they get, aren’t I
Just as important

Don’t I deserve the same
Consideration as them
Don’t I deserve the same
Kind of love and support

Am I not your daughter
Don’t I deserve the same
As your other daughter
Or your son

who am i ?

If I try to tell you how
I feel you get angry and
Upset that I feel this way
Why can’t you understand

I can’t understand why
My feelings make you
Angry and why I am the
One that always gets left behind

Why don’t you take me
With you or plan things
So that I can go with you
Or be more involved in your life

It’s like you don’t know me
Or even care to know me
So I guess I’ll just leave
You three alone

Don’t call me if you want
Someone to watch the animals
Or the kid until you include me
Because I want to be included

I am no longer the watcher
I guess I will make it by myself
Until I feel I am accepted by the
Family I was born into

Until then, I stand alone
it won’t be new to me
cos thus i have always been
alone for ages

Stages of lonliness
I have known
passed through
its now part of me

I will stand alone
until you know am worth your love
until am recognized
and never antagonized

Until then i will cease to exist
like i have always done
like you made me to
never to be in your mind

Sadness has known my name
tears knowing no bound
but you never knew
never knew my name

Until then
let me dwell in my sadness
swim in my tears
until then

Who am i ?

Leave Me Alone

Please go away, I don’t mean to be rude
I don’t want your kind words
Or another platitude.

Why don't you just stay away from my place
I don’t want you round here:
Don’t need you in my face

I’m hurting okay, let me deal with my pain
Please don’t make me have to ask you
To go away again.

I do understand that you only mean well
But I need time on my own now
To work through this hell.

Why won’t you just listen to what I have to say?
I’m fine now, believe me
I really am okay

Sure, it’s been rough for the past day or two:
Give me time and space to deal with it
And I will pull through.

It’s not the pain that’s the killer, it’s being on my own
You know I have never done well with
Being left all alone

That’s not an invitation for you to hang around every day
You’ll just get on my nerves
And you’ll get in the way.

Please don’t keep pressuring me to change my mind
I don’t mean to be hurtful
Or seem ungrateful or unkind.

Just go away until I feel more like talking to you
I know it’s not what you want
But it’s what I need you to do.

Please leave me alone and just let me be
I need time to grieve and regroup now
I need space to be me.

Believe

Everything's easy after it's done;
Every battle's a 'cinch' that's won;
Every problem is clear that's solved--
The earth was round when it revolved!

But Washington stood amid grave doubt
With enemy forces camped about;
He could not know how he would fare
Till after he'd crossed the Delaware.

Though the river was full of ice
He did not think about it twice,
But started across in the dead of night,
The enemy waiting to open the fight.

Likely feeling pretty blue,
Being human, same as you,
But he was brave amid despair,
And Washington crossed the Delaware!

So when you're with trouble beset,
And your spirits are soaking wet,
When all the sky with clouds is black,
Don't lie down upon your back

And look at them. Just do the thing;
Though you are choked, still try to sing.
If times are dark, believe them fair,
And you will cross the Delaware!

PURPOSE

Blessed is the man, indeed,
Who in this life can find;
A purpose that can fill his days,
And goals to fill his mind!

The world is filled with little men
Content with here they are;
Not knowing joys success can bring,
No will to go that far!

Yet, in this world there is a need,
For men to lead the rest
To rise above the "average" life,
By giving of their best!

Would you be one, who dares to try,
When challenged by the task;
To rise to heights you've never seen,
Or is that too much to ask?

This is your day--a world to win
Great purpose to achieve;
Accept the challenge of your goals
And in yourself, believe! 

You will be proud of what you've done,
When at the close of day;
You look back on your battles won,
Content, you came this way!

SELF LOVE

I can't run the fastest
I can't swim the sea
I can't type the quickest
but I love being me

I can't kick a ball
or even climb a tree
I can't roll in the grass
but I still love being me

You see, this is my life
as others would see
they don't know what it's like
to really be me

So next time I'm about
rolling down the street
don't think of me disabled
but someone cool to meet

I have lots I can teach you
I have loads I can share
you will never gain my wisdom
if you just point and stare

So maybe I can't run the fastest
maybe I can't kick a ball
but I wouldn't change being me
not for you, not at all

BEST LEGACY

I've copied you, Mother
My words echo your voice
You're my shining example
The one of my choice

Not thinking about it
I've copied your style
The way that you walk
The way that you smile

You fashioned my dreams
You painted my hopes
I've learned to make knots
At the end of my ropes

We all learn to love,
But not from a friend
I learned your strength
And when I should bend

Mom, you've mapped the way
To Heaven above
By teaching me kindness
By teaching me love

Pray for Mum

Dear Mom, I said a prayer for you
to thank the Lord above
For blessing me with a lifetime
of your tenderhearted love. 

I thanked God for the caring
you've shown me through the years,
For the closeness we've enjoyed
in time of laughter and of tears. 

And so, I thank you from the heart
for all you've done for me
And I bless the Lord for giving me
the best mother there could be

MY BEST FRIEND (to my mum)

You were my fairy tale princess,
So much larger than life.
You were my angel and my witness
Through all my pain and strife.

At times you made me angry,
Great words I would proclaim
How someday you'd be sorry.
You were the one to blame.

But when I needed comforting
You always found the time.
Your words were more soothing
Than days of childhood sublime.
 
Now the distance holds us apart,
The boundaries have no end. 
I'll hold the memories in my heart. 
You're my mother, my best friend

PERFECT MUM

Lord, You knew what you were doing,
when you made our Mum.
You knew you'd reached perfection,
and could never make another one.

You had made a one off model.
So you threw away the mold.
You gave Mum the patients of a Saint,
and a heart of pure gold!

You gave her eyes that never looked
for fault in anyone.
You filled her soul with so much love,
and compassion by the ton.

You gave her sympathetic ears,
and such understanding too.
She would always lend a helping hand,
if there was something she could do.

Friends can come, and friends can go.
But there was no friend like our Mum.
Lord. you must have felt so proud,
when you saw just what you'd done.

To some she might have seemed naive.
But those who love her know her worth.
For Lord. When you created Mum,
you placed an Angel on this earth.

MY ANGEL (Dedicated to my mum}

To the one who gave me life
I can give nothing but love
To the star so full of light
to the one sent from up above.

Thank you for the kindness
for everything you do
thank you for the happiness
thanks for seeing me through.

I love you more than anything
I'll love you to the end
you are my mother first
then my very best friend.

It is unusual what we share
everything I do you know,
every beautiful quality
you have in you, I try to show.

Not often enough do I tell you
how much you mean to me
Not often enough do I show you
how your love set me free

To live forever and always
Is what I wish for you.
A long life ever-lasting
for one so sacred and true

You are my special angel
who I always find comfort in
whether life is in a shambles
whether I lose or whether I win

To the one who gave me life,
I can give nothing but love
to the one who genuinely is,
sent from heaven above